Mind the Gap

Facts related to this story:
1. Ryan is 24 and I am 31.
2. Ryan plays the drums. And he's good. Really good.
Now on with the story.

I went to see Ryan's band play tonight. The minute I walked into the cramped sweaty room, I was smothered by the gap...immediately surrounded by eighteen year old girls and their eighteen year old behinds. Not really my crowd. I felt suffocated and wide and outdated. Every girl in the room had on cute shoes and size 2 jeans with trendy belts and bags. I was wearing a grey t-shirt and three year old red pumas. As usually happens at these shows, I got involved in many conversations that I didn't understand. The kind where I smile and say "yeah" when really I have no idea what we're talking about. I stopped myself from cupping my hand over my ear and saying "speak up dear, I can't hear you." Hair spontaneously sprouted from my chin and crows began planting their feet around my eyes. I was tired and cranky and every part of me wanted to go home and put on my pajamas and watch Conan and be done with it.

But then Ryan began to play the drums.

When Ryan plays the drums, he bursts wide open. He expresses true joy. All at once he's impassioned and irresistable. Sweaty and sexy. Effervescent and energetic. Controlled and yet so wild. Crazy. Unpredictable. Fun. When Ryan plays the drums, he becomes an entirely different person. It's almost like the first crash of the cymbal flips his secret switch and he comes alive. He's free.

When Ryan plays the drums, I forget how tired I am. How wide and outdated and awkward. I forget that I'm the oldest person in the room. When Ryan plays the drums, I don't mind the gap.