And it's only lunchtime.

You know it’s going to be a bad day when you wake up early for a doctor’s appointment and promptly start your period that includes flesh-eating-cramps and then dash out the door only to sit in standstill traffic due to idiots ogling a wreck that’s been moved to the shoulder and while you sit in traffic not moving you see dozens upon dozens of cars containing one person whizzing by in the HOV lane that CLEARLY requires two persons and you seethe about this for a good twenty minutes and then you finally get to the doctor’s office and they ask you to fill out four separate long forms about your history even though you have been seeing this same doctor for eight years and all your history is neatly tucked away in the file he already has and then you wait and wait and they finally call you back and you wait for 50 minutes in a room with no windows and an ultrasound machine from 1979 and when the doctor finally comes in he looks over his glasses at you and says “my….you’ve put on some weight haven’t you” which makes you want to gouge out his beady little eyes with a syringe and pin him against the wall with your big fat behind and then he tells you that you probably have mono and you’ll have to get blood drawn but you can’t do it there and you’ll have to drive somewhere else so you go to the somewhere else where a nice lady in a white coat jams a needle in your arm and you want to cry but you don’t because you know you wouldn’t be able to stop and you finally make it in to work and your husband sends you a message that he’s feverish and has a sore throat and you think “I knew this would happen!” because you’ve been sick for three months and you feel awful for him and you freak out because he doesn’t have insurance and the bank account is already drained and so you go to Walgreens with him to try and “over the counter” his pain away and while you’re there you pick up your prescription from the “Hey, You’re Fat” doctor and find out that it’s fifty dollars which makes you mad because this is the third antibiotic you’ve taken in as many months and if you have mono it will only get worse. And also there's the surgery.