Monday, April 28, 2008

Can't Stop

Eating Doritos
Watching Samantha Who (seriously? LOVE it)
Wearing flip-flops even though there's a freeze tonight
Wearing black and grey
Texting (what am I, twelve?)
Watching Rob & Big
Mourning the loss of Rob & Big
Telling Tivo to NEVER delete my episodes of Rob & Big
Wishing Rob & Big lived on my street
Wondering how the heck I'll get it all done
Thinking about my mid-thirties
Missing my nieces
Caring Less
Drinking Diet A&W Root Beer
Fearing the election
Fearing the inevitable
Wishing Ryan and I had the same schedule

Sunday, April 27, 2008


If I'm sitting in the Walgreens Pharmacy waiting area sporting greasy hair and yesterday's clothes barely able to sit up in my chair from the sheer agony of my closed nostrils and burning throat of fire and I'm forced to listen to the Walgreens Pharmacy DVD where Dr. Lisa keeps telling me over and over how to take prescriptions properly and the only thing I care about is GETTING my prescription so I can go home and die...

And if you're a ten year old boy wearing Husky jeans and mustard on your face and one million questions What's That! Who's That! Where's That! How's That! and constantly touching the condom packages with the questions and shouting and your two brothers who are equally as husky and annoying are hovering and touching me and stopping and starting the DVD and jumping on the chairs and complaining and coughing and causing me to think the prescription isn't worth it and I should just leave and risk dying...

Please do not sit next to me.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Thank You Please

You know you're at a classic Chinese dive when you bite into the "Oreo Fluff" and it's straight up Cool Whip with crushed up generic chocolate sandwich cookies mixed in.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Warning: Obvious Observations Ahead

This week 2008 has done an amazing job letting me know that I am in complete control.


It's funny really. Right about the moment I think that things in life are starting to make sense, starting to flow, I'm sucker punched with NO! You know NOTHING! You control NADA! (Yes, 2008 is bilingual. So annoying.)

But honestly, the lack of control has little to do with the ultimate battle. It's really about the colorful displays of pure UGH currently being hurled in every direction, touching nearly everyone I know and care about. These past 92 days (and nights!) 2008 has dished out more than I care to take. Divorce. Cancer. Job loss. Financial struggle. Death. Fertility drama. Sickness. Betrayal. Depression. Through it all I've been reminded that you can never assume anything. Lately my friends have been a daily dose of pure wow - dealing with things that would split me in half. Some of them have faced their demons with an obvious false bravado, losing before the game even comes out of the box. Others have been plugging along - almost flying below the radar. But as each day passes their quiet strength becomes more and more evident. All of them impress me, no matter how they handle the pressure. They're despondent but full of hope. Careful while careless. Mature and impossibly childish. Totally broken and fiercely unbreakable - all at once.

The other day a friend (who's having a particularly heinous go of it lately) said to me, "I've prayed it all. I've said every prayer you can say, done everything I can do. I give up. God's going to do what God's going to do." I think a lot of us feel this way. It's hard to wait for rain when you're stranded in the desert. Hard to trust the future, to leave it in God's hands, when today feels like forever.

Bottom line is that no matter what we're all still here. And He's still here. Whether or not things get better. Knowing full well that they may not. Are we frazzled, yes. Tossed to and fro to the point of exhaustion, sure. Over it, absolutely. But we're still here. Seeing the daily struggles my friends are facing, and walking through it with them, has been nothing but encouraging to me. I've had the opportunity to see the many layers stripped away, public inhibitions abandoned, lifelong insecurities ignored, to see the real depth. And I'm learning that every single person has more to offer than you'd expect. And sometimes it's scary...sometimes pretty ugly....often times inspiring. But always...ALWAYS surprising.

And I love surprises.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Me and Ryan

Watching The Biggest Loser

On a giant flat screen

In Burger King

Eating onion rings

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Why We Are Kindreds

"On the plane ride to Heaven there will be an endless loop of Lost episodes...and the headphones will be free!"
-Kelley Kirker


Friday, April 04, 2008

Thanks A Lot Oprah

Ok. Did you watch Oprah yesterday? DID YOU? I mean.......




All I can say it this.

It's official. Everyone, EVERYONE, is pregnant but me.