Friday, May 18, 2007

Major Announcement

I was thinking I should post something today, maybe something about how last night I got pulled over by the weirdest cop in Spring Hill. And about how he stayed ten feet away from my car at all times and shined his big, retina burning flashlight on my face and hands to make sure I didn't have a weapon. And about how he let me off with a "verbal warning" even though my insurance card was expired and my registration was in a crumpled ball in the bottom of my glove box. But you don't really want to hear about that. Then I thought about telling you about my phone call to the NASA Space Store yesterday to order official NASA space suits and helmets for an upcoming band photo shoot. But you don't really want to hear about that either. I could tell you about my lunch today with the fabulous Lori but you kinda had to be there. We could all CERTAINLY talk about the Grey's Anatomy Great Depression Finale or the fact that Dwight K. Shrute is the best thing to happen to TV since Alex P. Keaton or the fact that people don't appreciate Melinda Doolittle like they should. But again, that's not what you want to hear right now. What you want to hear right now is this:

TMC, The Medical Condition of which we do not speak but have been speaking about for months and months (22 months, actually), the nasty awful thing that has been so nasty and awful, the thing that we all thought would never release its grip....remember that*? I do. I remember it. And I do mean "remember" as in past tense. As in....


As in, I'm free. Healed. Over it already. And so to celebrate, I've written you this short note.

Dear Internet,

The Medical Condition is no more. Feel free to shout Hallelujah.


*I would include links to past stories for reference but I'm too busy smiling.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

New Haircut

Favorite spot

New haircut

Friday, May 11, 2007

Fill In The.....

A couple of weeks ago something bad happened. I haven't talked about it here, or really anywhere, because I'm not sure what to say exactly. The few people I have told about it are also not sure what to say exactly. They agree that something happened. And that it was bad. But other than that we all sit around saying "hmmmm" a lot and wondering silently about bad things and that they sometimes happen.

Summary: After several months of frustrations, none of which had anything to do with me, a certain person that I work with on a very regular basis unleashed hell. On me. He verbally assaulted me and physically threatened me and the whole thing ended with several other guys pulling him off of me. It might be obvious, but this sort of thing doesn't happen to me. Ever. Not even close. I've never been screamed at in such a way, never felt like I was about to be punched. Hard. By someone I have known and worked with and trusted for years. Afterwards, after the initial hours of crying and freaking out, I felt........blank.

I've seen the sad stories of battered women on Oprah and Dr. Phil and Channel 4 News. Women who are screamed at and hit every single day*. Most of the time, these women look blank. And I've always wondered to myself why they don't fight back, why they don't scream in rage and throw a punch and get the heck out. Why they always seem so.......blank.

Last night on Grey's Anatomy Meredith was blasted by her father. Her estranged father that wasn't a part of her life until recently. Her father that left her mother and potentially did the right thing since Meredith's mother was so over the top overbearing and mean and crazy and adulterous. Her father that she recently kinda sorta reconnected with and then met his wife who tried to be BFF with Meredith even though Meredith wasn't all that into it. The same part-time-step-mom who last episode died under Meredith's care. He screamed at her (publicly) and said things that can't be forgotten. Things that hurt. Things that can change a person. And she didn't fight back. She didn't say one word.

I wonder why that is. I wonder why some of us retreat when attacked. I wonder why a fiesty woman, a strong woman, a confidant woman, an any kind of woman would be rattled to the point of ....well, nothing. No words or emotions or reaction. Before The Incident a few weeks ago, I would have told you exactly what I would have done. How I would have given that guy what for and defended myself and blah blah on and on. But in the moment - I was blank.

And yes, I just wrote a post about a fictional character on a fictional TV show and how I can identify with her and her feelings. It happens.

*Please know that I am not in any way comparing my incident to what a battered woman goes through. Not in any way at all. What happened to me was not even 0.05% of what they go through. There is no comparison. I think you get my drift. My ordeal = tiny. Their daily life = horrifying.