Saturday, April 28, 2007

Fair Warning

This past week was Gospel Music Week otherwise known as the Week from Hell for those of us in the biz. Everyone and anyone associated with our little music industry gathers in downtown Nashville for a week of running to and fro and doing this and that. Indie bands are wandering the streets trying to get noticed, veteran acts are walking quickly trying not to get noticed and there's always one or two American Idol sightings. (This year it was Mandisa and Chris Sligh.) It's my job to assemble all of my bands and make sure they get where they need to go on time and in one piece. That's 21 guys around the age of 21 - all of which become bored after about 13 seconds of anything. Oh, and I was also planning a late night showcase with six bands performing and muptiple creative people all giving input and advice. Yes, I was busy.

One particular morning I was putting out typical fires (The Robot kicked out of an event, a staff member with no badge, a band with the wrong color wristbands to enter an event) and I took a moment to visit the ladies room to get away from the mania. I walked in and noticed the empty stalls* and felt glad to have a moment to myself.

*I always notice if public restrooms are empty or not. Because empty public restrooms (especially Movie Theater empty public restrooms) really freak me out.

As I was doing my quick business in Stall #2 I heard the main door open. Then I heard a cheery woman say, "So how's your week going?" I figured Happy Voice Lady had entered with a friend.

I was wrong.

Happy Voice Lady entered the stall next to me and repeated, more loudly:
"How's your week going?"
"................(could she really be talking to me?)..............fine."
"It's such a busy week isn't it?"
"Everyone coming and going. It's a fun week though, seeing everyone and all he excitement and traveling and eating strange foods."
"It really does a number on your stomach doesn't it?"

At this point I am at the sink washing my hands and I realize...this woman is not making polite conversation with me. This woman is warning me about what is about to come out of her.

So I got out of there.

Doesn't she know that the rule of thumb for a situation like that is to remain as anonymous as possible, walk in with your head down, enter the last stall, pick your feet up and hope everyone leaves before you have to come out? You don't make friends.

Although I am kinda wondering if she made it out alive.

Friday, April 20, 2007

I'm in.

I've been tagged by nonblonde. And what she says - I do.

My (Current) Top Five Obsessions:

Pants - When I was 19 years old, I knew what size I wore. I could go into any store, pick up my size, and the pants would fit. Now, I wear a range of three, sometimes FOUR different size pants. This makes shopping so irritating I could be tempted to go naked. Almost. Why can't an 8 be an 8? And why can't I be an 8?

TV - I love TV. Good shows and bad shows and dramas and comedies and action and news and reality and total crap and The Office. I don't have cable channels like Discovery or TLC or E! or Bravo because it's too expensive right? (Secret Message to Internet: The reason I don't have these channels is because if I had access to all the shows on THOSE channels as well as the channels us regular folks watch - I would never leave my house. Ever.)

Babies - It's not what you think. (Or is it?) I have upwards of 15 pregnant women in my life. That's a double digit, ya'll. And that's a lotta babies. Kinda makes a girl think about....

The Future - I think about the future and when it will get here and what it will look like and how much it will cost and what size my pants will be when it gets here and if I have time to do anything about it.

Zaxby's - Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Zaxby's.

I will now tag anyone and everyone who wants to fess up. And let me know if you do....I love reading other people's privacies.



Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Over It

My friend Sam after hearing Zach say that his new job is "all things web related":

"I am so over the Internet."

-Sam Shifley
Record Producer
Renaissance Man
Family Man
Often mistaken for a Homeless Man

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

You know you're fat when......

You put on some pants in the dressing room only to gasp in horror at the reflection in the adds-ten-pounds-I'm-sure-of-it full length mirror. You stare in disbelief at how wretched these pants make you look, how wide and lumpy and vast. You vow to yourself that you would never EVER buy these pants even if they were 75% off. Even if you had a Gift Card. Even if they were black and 75% off and you had a Gift Card. These pants make you look like Fun House Mirror Girl. They are awful. AWFUL!

Then you realize....

These are your pants. The ones you wear every other day.


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Until June

Never have I used this blog to pimp my own .... wait a minute .... I do have a link to BUY MY BOOK. But never have I used this blog to pimp one of my bands. But, the time has come. I feel fairly certain that if you have read this blog more than once, you will love the band Until June as much as I do. They are three guys, they live in West Hollywood, and they write songs that sound like falling in love.

You can check out their music here or here. It will be worth the click. Their debut record comes out Tuesday - 4/17, if you are so inclined.


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

J. F. is #1

If I watched Dancing with the Stars (which I do not)....and if I were to make a comment about it (which I can't because I don't watch it)....I would say that the host Samantha Harris always wears THE most gorgeous dresses. I mean really, who is dressing that woman? And when can they start dressing me? That is....if I had ever seen the show, which I most certainly have not.