And They Said It Wouldn't Last...

Today is the Illingworth Six Month Wedding Anniversary. Doesn’t that sound grandiose? I tried to make it sound grandiose. I like things to sound like a celebration, even when they are relatively low key. It makes life more interesting. More...grandiose. I thought about writing a long and touching tribute about my Perfect Ryan and these last six months and how wonderful they have been and how everyone who said "the first year's the hardest" had it wrong wrong wrong. Then I decided that I would rather point out all the fun moments we’ve had and make a list with funny inside jokes that might make you laugh too. But then I couldn’t decide which moments to highlight because there are so many. Plus, I talk about Ryan so much on this blog that some of you might already be at the eye-rolling-finger-down-the-throat-enough-already stage.
So. Maybe I’ll just talk about dinner.

Monday night Ryan and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for five reasons.
1. We had a gift card
2. It was his birthday
3. We could also celebrate our anniversary
4. Since we had a gift card we could order TWO desserts
5. Hello! The Cheesecake Factory!
We got there at 6:30 and smiled happily when the hostess said 70 minute wait. We didn’t care! It was Birthday Anniversary Cheesecake Factory! Of course, every other couple around us started huffing and puffing and complaining and “checking on their table” after twenty minutes. Calm down people! We have been waiting for 52 minutes! After 78 minutes, we were seated, and instructed to begin feasting. And feast we did. When dessert time came, we were too full, but said BRING OUT THE CHEESECAKE anyway. Ryan ordered the Godiva Cheesecake, and I ordered something that made the server gasp and ask me if I was sure.
"For Real?"
"Yes"
"Are you sure"
"Yes"
"Are you planning on sharing with anyone"
"No"
Server eyes bugging out....
"BRING IT ON LADY"

I’ll say, the fact that it didn’t take two burly men to manhandle my dessert is a mystery I will never solve. When our server set it down in front of me, the booth shook. It came on a platter. It was bigger than any dessert I’ve ever seen, ever. We stared at it for a while, hoping it was just a whipped cream illusion and a normal piece of cake was underneath. We were wrong. Underneath that mountain of whipped cream was an equally large mountain of coffee and vanilla ice cream and underneath that was what can only be described as an entire sheet cake of chocolate and chocolate chips and more chocolate and frosting and chocolate. I started to cry.

After attempting to cram as much of this truly heavenly dish into my mouth as possible, and then eating another five heaping bites, I sat back and cried some more. And this is what was left.



Everyone says you gain weight when you get married. I think it's the Anniversary Dinners that do you in.