Sasha: Not the Ice Skater

Here's Ryan and Sasha....World's Smallest Dog. I'm not sure why she looks so freaked....Ryan is the only one she likes. Including The Duck.



This is my hand next to Sasha. And no, I don't have giant man-hands. She's just that tiny.



See?



Sometimes Sasha and Minnie get along.
Sometimes they do not.
Sasha is not a new member of Illingworth Manor, she's just been hanging with us for a few weeks while her mom Karina takes care of her mom Myra. My favorite part of this arrangement is watching Ryan walk Sasha the Tiny down the street. He almost looks....sassy.

And here's a picture of Minnie laughing....I hope it makes you as happy as it does me.

21 We've Just Begun

I could say I've been too busy to write lately...and that would be true.
I could say I've had tons of company at my house and work has been crazy and my kitchen was flooded with a sudden tsunami of soapy water that took three hours to clean up....and that would be true.
I could say I've just been too sad to write...and that would be the most true. Nobody wants to read Sad Jo. I don't want to read Sad Jo. I want to read Happy Jo.....I want to BE Happy Jo. But these days it's too hard to fake. So instead of going on and on and on about the downward spiral I'm currently spinning...I'll do a meme! Hooray!!

Meme stolen from the luminous Hula. Hers is more interesting than mine will be.

Are you still reading? Sucker.......

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
Dull sequels, stale 'toons, comic-book tales and unexciting laughfests: to paraphrase The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy, "worst summer movie season ever."
-Entertainment Weekly: Issue #891

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can...what do you touch first?
Minnie Dog - currently lying on her back with all four paws straight in air. She's asleep.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I'm watching America's Got Talent right now. Some of these people have oodles of talent. Some of them have oodles of guts to perform on national TV when they suck so terribly. (Also...if you were going to dance on national TV in a twirly skirt....wouldn't you realize that all of America was going to see your underwear? And wouldn't you then try to wear cute underwear?)

4. Without looking, what time is it?
8:15

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
8:04 (always rushing....)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
David Hasselhoff's blah blah blah blah.....he is a strange strange man.

7. When did you last go outside?
When I got home from work. I took Minnie Dog out to potty. Then she got a treat. I'm considering adopting this policy for myself....anytime I use the potty...I get a treat.

8. What are you wearing?
White t-shirt under a blue t-shirt and grey pajama pants. And socks. Which is odd because I never wear socks.

9. When did you last laugh?
At dinner with Ryan...I was regaling him with tales of all the funny girls from work....and I giggled right out loud. But I need to laugh again so please tell me a joke.

10. Seen anything weird lately?
Yes, most of the acts from America's Got Talent. And that email from CNN News that said they arrested a man in Thailand today suspected in Jean Benet Ramsey's murder. And my own nudity.

11. What did you dream last night?
That I was fat free.

12. What's on the walls of the room you're in?
Picture frames and more picture frames. And a giant mirror (for viewing the nudity). And more frames.

13. What do you think of this survey?
I think it's a good way to blog without telling the truth about what's really going on. I mean.....it's fun.

14. What's the last film you saw?
Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. And I'll say, I laughed. Sometimes I even laughed really loud. But it was no Anchorman. But then again, what is. (I'm in a glass cage of emotions!)

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Better nudity. And debt-free-ness. And a boyfriend for Minnie Dog. And jeans.

16. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have a degree in French. I talk sexy real good.
But some of you know that sooo..........the word "podcast" gives me the heebie jeebies. And in my line of work, I have to say that word and respond to that word many many times a day. Therefore, my days are filled with heebs and jeebs.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?
Selfishness. It's the root of all evil.

18. Do you like to dance?
Yes. Unless you mean country line dancing...and then I would have to say no. No I do not.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Pegasus, of course. Because there's nothing better than saying "Is this Pegasus's sweater?" "Are you Pegasus's sister?"

20. Boy?
Ed.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes? No. Yes. No. Will there be treats?

Goodnight.

If It Ain't Broke

Remember that scene in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere takes Julia Roberts to the opera and she's looking very unprostitutional wearing The Jewels and The Dress. Remember when they're sitting in the opera box and Richard hands Julia a pair of opera glasses and she keeps trying to hold them up to her eyes but they keep flopping around and she can't quite figure it out. "They're broken. My glasses are broken..." she says. Richard leans over and turns the glasses the correct (and obvious) way. "Oh" she says.

Ryan and I have become quite good at having "oh" moments. First there was the garbage disposal incident that made us both feel like complete incompetents. Then a few weeks ago Ryan's car got smashed. He took it to the auto body shop and they fixed it right up. Except for the radio. After Ryan got his car back he noticed the radio no longer worked. All of the stations were fuzzy. "It's broken. My radio is broken..." he said. He took the car back to the auto body shop where they promptly....raised the antenna. The antenna that had been lowered while they worked on the car. Oh.

Then today at lunch I commented to Ryan how our favorite talk radio station had gone off the air. He said he hadn't noticed? I said, yes, since last week I haven't been able to get the station to come in. "It's broken. Something at the station must be broken...." I said. So Ryan went out to my car and adjusted my antenna that was apparently bumped when I had new tires put on last week. And magically...the station came in clear as a pregnancy test. Oh.

I can only imagine what will happen if we ever have a child.


THIS JUST IN: Sorry to report, but I am not pregnant. I also did not mean to give off the vibe that I was....I guess my subconscious leaked out onto my blog.