The Incessant Ache

My head hurts...
It's Tuesday afternoon and my head has been hurting since Friday morning. It hurts.
Take some medicine, you say. I have. It doesn't work.
Go to the doctor, you say. I have. It doesn't work.
Drink some water, you say. I am. And what is it with you people and water. Can't we all just drink Diet Coke and get along?
Get some rest, you say. I try. It hurts to lay my head on the pillow.
Think happy thoughts, you say. Aren't you listening? It hurts to BLINK.
Get some exersize, you say. Are you kidding me? I just said that IT HURTS TO BLINK. Why would I want to do anything more strenuous than that?
Rub your index finger and thumb from one hand in between your index finger and thumb on your other hand - HARD. Well that's just ridiculous. (and I tried it, and it doesn't work)
Maybe you should eat, you say. Hey, any excuse to eat and I'm there. I just ate 26 pretzels and now I have a headache and I feel bloated (what with all the water and the pretzels).
Maybe it's allergies, you say. I'm starting to think that "allergies" is a made-up word used by the medical community to control our minds. I also believe it's an excuse that they use when they just don't know what's wrong with you. "Maybe it's allergies."
My head hurts.
My head hurts.
My head hurts.
My head hurts.
My head hurts.