Results: Part Three

James 1:6
But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind

That seems to be my current state. Stomach filled with churning waves. Mind tossed back and forth so much that I feel rattled and dizzy. Unsteady. Blown down. Weak. I understand that to believe it to simply do that – believe. But I feel like I’m drowning, thrashing about with no ability to think clearly enough to believe.

Test results were positive in that they found nothing wrong - negative in that there’s still no solution to the mystery. And suddenly I feel worse. I don’t know if it’s mental or physical. Feels like both. I want to say that I’m just experiencing a large amount of stress and my body is reacting to that. But really, I only say that so I don’t have to face anything more. I could pursue more tests, as my doctor recommended, but I’m afraid. I can’t live like this and hope for the best…but I’d rather. I’d rather act like all is well. But, alas, I’m too transparent. The Glamorous Life indeed.