Deepest Fears REVEALED!!!

At lunch today Ryan and I went to Great Clips for a trim. Ryan’s wavy hair tends to grow out horizontally instead of vertically and since the circumference was growing by the minute, he was due a trim. I’ve always been jealous of boys and their no-fuss hair. They just wash (With a bar of soap! The horror!) and get the monthly cut that takes all of ten minutes. No big deal, right? We girls have to go to a salon and find our own personal hairdresser where we spend hours and hours getting the perfect layers or flip. We shampoo and condition and moisturize and straighten and highlight and color. We use thirteen different products in and out of the shower and….it’s too much really.

So we went to Great Clips. I would never do this, obviously, because I would never let some random stranger touch my hair with scissors. But boys can, right? How hard is it to “just trim a little all over”. We were on our lunch break, so there wasn’t much time. When we pulled up, I noticed two ladies appearing to need haircuts (inner dialogue: How can those ladies walk around with such bad hair? Oh right, we are in front of Great Clips…), so I told Ryan to run in so he could go first. I parked the car and went inside to wait, hoping for a good magazine or talk show to bide my time.

Everything went fine, I thought. Ryan did get to go first and we were only there a total of fifteen minutes. Granted, the girl who cut his hair was incredibly annoying and asked far too many personal questions, but hey, it’s a $12 walk-in haircut. (And we got a free game piece to win a Dodge Dakota!) As we walked out I had my mouth open ready to tell Ryan how cute he looked when he turned to me wild-eyed and said

“You don’t know this about me, but I’m terrified of the barber! Getting my haircut is TERRIFYING!”

Here’s what you should know about Perfect Ryan. He does not get wild-eyed about anything. AN-Y-THING. He’s not excitable. Not animated. Not jumpy or nervous or outrageous. He’s got one speed – slow. He walks slowly from one room to another. He talks slowly. He makes decisions slowly. He never shouts or cries or gets fired up. And when he DOES get fired up, it’s hard to notice. Granted, I like this about Ryan. Especially since I’m so overly excitable it takes a mild sedative for me to get through the day unharmed. His reaction to the Great Clips Experience was obviously quite unusual. I just stared at him as he went on and on about the scissors and the razor and the people with sharp objects who chatter incessantly while cutting – CUTTING!!! He worriedly chattered about this for several fast-paced minutes without stopping to take a breath. I laughed and wondered what other odd secrets lay within this man I married.

To summarize: it’s only been a little over a month, but I’ve already discovered one of Ryan’s deepest, secret fears – the barber. THE BARBER!!!!!!!!!!