Monday, August 29, 2005

Results: Part Four

Went to yet another doctor on Friday. Sat in the ice cold exam room, waiting for my fate, shivering both inside and out. I was afraid this doctor might want me to have a test that can only be described as pure evil. I know this, because I’ve had this test before. Granted, if it would contribute to my well being, I would endure it once more. But no one would ever happily sign up for such torture. While I waited, the sky went from bright and happy to a fearful blackish grey. Given my current hysteria I wondered if I was the only one who could see the dark clouds or if they were merely a reflection of my own thoughts. The doctor came in and (surprisingly) sat down and really listened to me. Really talked to me. He said he doesn’t think I need the dreaded test (YES!) – but, I do need a substantial amount of rest. This deduction came from my answer to his “do you have anything stressful in your life right now” question. When he asked, I took a deep breath and said……. “well…

-I just got married
-I just bought a house
-My job is more stressful than ever and there may be stressful changes coming
-I signed with my publisher for another book
-The manuscript is due in eight, no seven months
-My husband is looking for a job and currently working an in-the-meantime job that’s no fun
-A family member is going through some scary health issues/surgery
-Money is tighter than my favorite jeans
-My jeans are too tight
-My hair is orange
-I have….

He stopped me there and sighed. Then I sighed. Then we both looked out the window at the big black clouds racing and rumbling across the sky. I felt a small ripple of relief since he saw them too. Then I had to put on the paper gown that’s not fooling anyone while he poked and prodded. (This was both painful and embarrassing, equally.) (Why is it that doctors make small talk while inflicting pain? Does this ease their conscious? Do they know that it’s difficult to answer trivial questions while holding back the screams of agony?) Then I had to have blood drawn by a jolly woman with stuffed bats hanging all around her desk. (And yes, my first thought was that she was either really early or really, really late for Halloween. I’m slow.) Then I was sent out into the torrential downpour with a prescription of immediate rest. Immediate rest when there are no less than fifteen crucial deadlines at work and I feel as if the weight of the world is resting on my temples and behind my eyes and in my stomach.