Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Thinking Again...

Is it just me or is life nothing but a series of stops and starts and waiting in line. We're waitng for a raise, mad we got fired, waiting to get married, mad we gave up the single life, chopping off our hair, impatient for it to grow back, waiting to have a kid, horrified at the impending responsibility and so on and so forth. Sometimes we talk about the good 'ole days but that's just a lie. My good 'ole days were frought with waiting for him to call and waiting for the right job and waiting to be a grown-up and waiting to finally feel like I belonged in my body. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to coast. I'm ready to just set sail and be free of the stopping and the starting and the constant waiting for something better to come along. I'm ready to wake up and say YES! This is my life and LIFE. IS. GOOD.

Because that's true, it's good. Sure, I'm plagued by enourmous doubt and feelings of failure and the current size of my thighs (a direct result of the doubt and the failureness). Sure, there are things I'm waiting for and wishing for. I have hopes for a someday. I just want to make sure I don't miss today for all the worry and audible sighs that last for days. I want to make sure I look around and drink in today. Because today I have the love of a man I never even dreamed existed. Today I have friends worth more than a winning lottery ticket. Today I have a family and a job and a second book and a home and the chance to laugh every single day.

Today I have it all.

P.S. Guess who's blonde again?
Blonde Again