dot coooooooooom

I had to call Expedia.com today to change a hotel reservation for one of my bands coming in for GMA. It was a tedious but necessary phone call. At one point in the conversation, I had to log in to my Expedia account and change a name. After I did this, Carmella from Expedia said "good job JoAnna!" I don’t know why, but this made me feel so good. Like somehow Expedia.com was validating my intelligence and meaning in life.

Fun Fact

So, the other day I went to lunch with AJ Fabulous and our friend Angela who is equally as fabulous. We went to Steamer's for some good subs and to give the paparazzi a chance to photograph us. Sadly, they did not. Apparently we are not as interesting as Kenny Chesney or Nicole Kidman. We were, however, very interesting to the owner - one Buffalo Bill. He was very angry with me for ordering a BBQ Chicken Philly without the peppers and onions, but told me that I have a "friendly face". He said he used to be a detective in New York so "he knows faces". I asked him if this meant he would buy a car from me. He said no. This leaves me wondering what he meant by "friendly face". Was this Buffalo Bill's backhanded way of saying I look like a mangey mutt that's so ugly it's cute? Hmmmmm. (He also said that my friend Angela is way better looking than Rene Zellweger. I wholeheartedly agree.)

Illingworth Manor + 1

This is me.

I enjoy French fries, 24, dressing the duck, and the weekend. I do not like sharks.

This is Ryan.

He enjoys playing video games, mobsters, 24, playing drums and the weekend. He does not like public nudity.

This is Minnie...Minerva if you're nasty.


And this is her Mohawk.

She enjoys treats, sniffing things, lying on the marble fireplace and looking out the window. She does not like having her picture taken.

Ryan, Minnie and me.
Now we are three.

Confessions

Dear Internet -

I asked you to confess your worst...and you did. You people are crazy. And I love you.

Jo

Fiddy Cent

Since I'm an "author", and I'm currently writing Book #2, how should I feel about my first book being offered on Amazon.com for fifty cents?

Fifty cents....it's like a yard sale book you buy as a joke for a co-worker.

(For a visual, look down and to the right. Amazon.com is working hard to boost my ego.)

UPDATE: Check it out - someone must have purchased my $0.50 book because now I'm up to $0.99! WOO!! Pretty soon I'll be on the New York Times Bestseller's List!

Spill It

Most of you know that I’m working on my second book. If you didn’t know that, now you know why I have dark circles under my eyes and a crazed look about me. The title of my new book is “Confessions From Year Thirty” and I’ll be making confessions such as making out with the intern in the Flicker Records parking lot.

I’d like to add, throughout the book, confessions from other people. So, send me your confessions would ya? They can be fun or serious...I would like a mixture of both. If you want to send me a confession that you don’t necessarily want anyone to know about, just leave an anonymous comment and I'll be none the wiser that it was you.

Confession examples:
My favorite sport is Reality TV
I drink 6 Mountain Dews every single day
I like Celine Dion
I think Paris Hilton is classy
I’m afraid of people with really small hands
I still struggle with depression even though I’m on medication
I’m constantly afraid that my husband will leave me for someone prettier
I haven’t spoken to my mother in ten years
I’m not sure I believe in God anymore
(Note: These are not actual confessions from me, so don’t go starting any rumors. Except maybe the one about the hands. And maybe the one about Celine. Those might be actual confessions. Maybe.)

So go ahead, get things off your chest. Give me your worst (and best) (and funniest) confessions.

The Duck Says:

The Duck says Happy St. Patrick's Day Ya'll! And please...drink responsibly.



(Raise your hand if you would like to hear the story behind The Duck.)

Reason #46 and #47

Reason #46 Why I Love Ryan Illingworth:

That guy can eat ice cream faster than anyone on earth. Seriously, if there was a national search for the fastest ice cream eater ever, Ryan would enter. And he would win. However, if there was a contest to eat hot food (temperature hot and spicy hot) he would lose by a lot. It would be embarrassing.




Reason #47 Why I Love Ryan Illingworth:
(Note to Internet: If you watch 24 and you didn't watch Monday night's episode, stop reading.......NOW.)

Normally, I'm the only member of Illingworth Manor that cries while watching TV, but when Tony Almeida was lying in Jack's arms dying, Ryan got a little weepy. Mind you, he didn't full on cry, but he was certainly distraught. Turns out Ryan has a soul after all!

(Don't tell him I told you that. He's trying to maintain an "image".)

Self Portrait Tuesday: Time (Feet)

So I wanted to participate in this months Self Portrait Tuesday theme and I had this idea to take some pictures of my feet in different places where I walk every day and I planned to make some cool collage/strip something like this and this because I think both of those girls are really cool. Then, after I took several photos, I realized that I don't know how to make cool collage/strip somethings so it was all a big waste of time. I was even going to write a big story about how I've been so depressed lately what with all the medical/health drama and how the fact that I can now wear flip-flops has filled my body with sunshine and happiness even though it's a chilly day today. It's chilly, but the sun, she is a shinin'! So instead of the big story, which I now won't tell, you get one picture instead of many. And one thought...Why is it that when the sun is shining and you're wearing flip-flops and all is finally semi-right with the world, you check the mail and find that it's full of bills from doctors and their surgical procedures?



For more views of Jo's feet, go here.

For SPT's that kick mine in the be-hind, go here.

The Stars Speak

Funniest star quote I've heard in a long time:

Michael Douglas on Brangelina:

"I don't know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful wife to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean, how long is that going to last?"

I'm One!

Hold up! Wait a minute! It has just come to my realization that March 4th was my one year blogging anniversary. This was my first post. Seems like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago. And that's all I have to say about that.

Gone With the Wind

Wouldn't you know it? Last night was the first night since we have been married that Ryan has been away/out of town. He's in DC for a show with his band. And last night the rains came down joined by a giant thunderstorm/wind party that did this to our house.







The Duck, however, is fine.

Agree to Disagree

Look, I normally shout Amen Sister! to whatever Jessica and Heather have to say about what the stars are wearing. But not today! They made fun of my favorite dress! I love Sandra's dress. Love it. I would wear it to work except that my shoulders would turn to ice in my haunted-house-office that is continually 15 degrees too cold. Seriously, I wear jackets in July. The point is, I think they got this one wrong. Except for the part about Sandra looking HOT since she's been eating food. I liked that part.

And the Oscar Goes To...

This was my favorite dress of the night.

And this made my head hurt.

This dress made my thighs sweat.

And when I saw this woman, I shrieked and jumped up and down, almost letting dinner burn. Oh, how I love her.

Second verse, same as the first...

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I'll tell you this. I had the procedure. Doc said "everything looks good" which felt like my face hitting the pavement. Still no answer to the mystery. Still living with the problem that eats away at me. But - I'm over it. I've decided that I'm not going to have anymore tests, at least not for now. It's time to start living life again. It's time to have energy and excitement and fun. It's time to write my book that has zero possibility of being finished on time. It's time to move on. So that's what I'm doing.