Cheers

Rehearsal drunk
Originally uploaded by Glamorous Jo.

No alcohol was consumed before, during, or after this photograph was taken. We were simply drunk on love.

(Karina - I said that last part JUST for you.)

Self-Portrait Tuesday

SP1
Originally uploaded by Glamorous Jo.

Joy asked me to join Self-Portrait Tuesday. I don't really know much about it other than that I should post a self-portrait. I took this on Sunday as Ryan and I were driving back from Louisville, KY. We were there visiting his sister Angie for her 21st birthday. This is me looking in the rearview mirror from inside the car. Objects may be closer than they appear.

Best Wedding Moments

Best Face: Ryan’s face when he saw me


Best Cute Kids: The Flower Princess and the Flame Bearer




Best Disguise: Leslie hiding the fact that her dress ripped all the way up the side BEFORE the ceremony – and taping and pining her dress together without me ever knowing (note: the only reason it ripped is because she was helping carry my very old, very precious veil - and I took off like a thief in the night while she ran after me with the veil - hence, the rip. Bridezilla!)


Best Disguise Runner-Up: Nivah and AJ hiding my burnt eyelid with make-up and prayers


Best Hair: AJ’s masterpiece


Best Rib Crushing Moment: The Zipping of the Dress


Best Aides: Karina Bissinger and Jen Pecinis




Best Friends: The women I love (who are all so beautiful!!)




Best Veil: Handmade by my grandmother, Eloise Wise, in 1975


Best Embarrassing Moment: Having to pee – and needing the assistance of both Nivah and Laura to do it

Best Wedding Thugs: Troy Vest and Sam Shifley


Best Food Moment: Nivah feeding me cheese cubes and pretzels (tastes like Combos…mmmmmmmmmmmmm)

Best Wedding Refreshment: Diet Coke


Best Parents: Mom and Dad



Best Parents Runner-Up: Dawn and Vern


Best Anxious Moment: Standing on the side of the house waiting for my turn to walk down the aisle




Best Patriot Moment/Awwww Moment: Dodger carrying a sparkler down the aisle



Best Moment Period: When Ryan was reading his vows to me and me to him



Best Ceremony Slip-Up: When Dad said “This is an emotional day for me since I’m the Bride of the Father”.


Best Ceremony Noise: When the train roared by

Best Tearful Moment for Everyone, Including Guests: When Dad started to cry


Best Music Moment: The Harp of Dreams


Best Fly-On-The-Wall Moment: Jen dreaming that someday she’ll get married too


Best Kiss


Best Shocking Moment for Guests: The Streamer Cannons



Best Cake:It had our wedding vows written on it, and photos of our parents at their weddings




Best Cake Topper Likeness: The Illingworths


Best Disguise Second Runner-Up: Vader


Best Song: MY KD Sisters singing to me



Best Moment with a Long Lost Friend: Englert


Best Friend: Robert Ryan Illingworth, the love of my life

Reason #22

Reason #22 Why I Love Ryan Illingworth:
When I asked him how his American Idol red white and blue Pop-Tart was, he replied with passion - It tastes like FREEDOM!!!!

How to Achieve a Ghetto Lawn

I arrived home last night after work to find an obtrusive flyer flying out of our mailbox. When I looked at it, I laughed. Then I sighed. Then I said who cares (out loud) and went inside where it’s cool and homey and perfect. The oversized flyer was from a local lawn company. It was a fancy fold-out flyer with detailed information about weed control and grass growing and general lawn maintenance. The best part was inside – a hand written note about weed control. The note said they were here to offer help, like we are in need of some sort of yard intervention. It was tender and kind hearted and just a little sad. See, The Illingworth Manor Lawn isn’t exactly pruned and fertilized. It’s more when-we-bought-the-house-the-grass-seed-didn’t-grow-and-we-haven’t-had-time-to-fix-it-what-with-all-the-wedding-nonsense-as-of-late. It’s not that we don’t care. We have gone so far as to price grass seed. We’ve also spent a hot afternoon pulling weeds – to the point of sheer muscle spasms that lasted for days. We talk about it quite a bit. We look out the window and say “hey, look at that yard”. But there hasn’t been enough time or money or weather cooperation to fully tend to the muddy pit of weeds that surrounds our house. And it’s not too terrible. We do have about 42 blades of grass (slowly dying in the heat). We have a few bushes that have managed to survive our neglect. And we have a FIELD of clover. Big fat tall clover. Clover for miles. Days. Years. I keep expecting to round the corner and see the end of the rainbow in the middle of our yard. Really this is a secret dream, finding the pot of gold. Just this morning Ryan and I were trying to think of a way to make one million dollars. We don’t really want more than that. Just one measly million. I googled “how to make one million dollars” and all that came up were articles about ROTH IRAs and how to save the money you have. Well that’s the point – we don’t have any right now and we want it right now, not when we are 65. (Note: when Ryan is 65 I will be 73. Should I wait that long for my million??) But what we DO have is a ghetto lawn to be proud of. And we are proud. We have achieved the kind of lawn that neighbors secretly meet about and scorn. The kind of lawn that keeps nosy no-gooders from “dropping by” with welcome cookies or a tuna casserole when really all they want to do is check you out and report back to the others. So far no one has said hello to us. No one has rung the doorbell except for that one PESKY salesman that practically took the door off its hinges trying to get in. (He also RIPPED the “free sample” of his carpet cleaner from my hands when I told him to get lost.) But I don’t care. I’m loving my new house and my new husband and my ghetto lawn. There’s a neighborhood block party coming up, and Ryan and I considered making buttons to wear that say “We’re the ones with THE YARD”.
If you would like to achieve the bliss I live in, follow these easy steps:
1. Do not water your lawn, ever.
2. Do not seed your grass, ever.
3. Don’t notice the weeds until they are knee-high and cover the water spigot on the side of the house, and then after finally noticing them, continue to ignore.
4. Repeat.

Reason #1,298

Reason #1,298 Why I Love Ryan Illingworth:

He reasearched and traded and bartered to get an original Playstation NES system so we could play Super Mario Brothers and Tetris together. People, that's love.

Bonus: He's also SCRUMPTIOUS.

Jack Bauer

Jack Bauer
Originally uploaded by Glamorous Jo.

Oh Jack, I miss you.

Introducing....

One of the fun moments from our wedding...when Dad introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Illingworth, streamer cannons shot red and white streamers into the crowd. It was awesome...
I've got some candids I received from my friend Amy Vest up - go here to view. http://www.flickr.com/photos/glamorousjo/sets/608600/show/

Things I Wonder: Buns

Why is it that your hamburger bun is a "bun" and your backside buns are called "buns". Shouldn't the two agree?
--Can you pass me another hamburger buns?
or
--Those jeans look cute on your bun.

True Love

Wedding 16
Originally uploaded by Glamorous Jo.

Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Illingworth.

Belly Button Boobs

Scary boobs
Originally uploaded by Glamorous Jo.

It's not so much the leathery, alligator skin that disturbs me. It's the boobs. THE BOOBS!!!!!