The One Where You Will Feel An Ant Crawling Up Your Arm But It Isn't Really There

I don't mind ants. They don't freak me out or make me scream or give me nightmares. In fact, earlier this year we had an ant problem in our kitchen for about a week. If I saw them crawling across the counter top I didn't jump on a chair and scream for Ryan. Ants are not a problem for me. I never think about ants.

Until we discovered the Ant Hill of Doom in our newly alive backyard.



Are you seeing what I'm seeing here? Oh I've seen ant hills before...usually about the size of a quarter. Usually so insignificant I might even step on one with my bare foot without realizing it. But this thing is about to TAKE OVER. Those bits of colored paper are evidence of our first feeble attempt to triumph over the ants. We had some store-bought ant killer, a sugary substance that you place on little cards (thus the torn up Bed Bath and Beyond coupon - don't worry, we have 100 more just like it because they mail them EVERY SINGLE DAY!) and the ants eat the liquid and carry it back to their home base and it kills all the other ants. It worked in our kitchen. But when Ryan put it out next to THIS hill, they laughed at him. One even BIT him while laughing.

This means war.



Ryan went online and Googled "How to get rid of an ant metropolis" because this...this is no hill. Today he's going to try boiling water. Sounds graphic but also a little cool, right? If that doesn't work, we'll try cinnamon. That's right, boiling water or cinnamon. You're thinking we should try the cinnamon first? You would be wrong.



Also, Minnie's reaction when learning we would be pouring boiling water onto 1,000,000 ants and killing our surrounding baby grass that we worked so hard to grow.