What I Am is What I......Was?

I work in the music industry and today during one of those if-this-meeting-goes-on-one-minute-longer-I-will-vomit meetings that we all know and love....one of my co-workers shared a video she had just completed for an artist on her roster. It was for a song called "I'm Not Who I Was" and the entire video was a series of photographs of various people holding up a white board with a message written on it. The first photograph of each person had a description of who they used to be. The second, who they are now. One girl's first photo had her holding up a board that said "Broken", her second said "Mending". One said "Fear" followed by "Free". These people were showing visible representations of who they used to be....and who they are becoming. Who they have become.

As each photograph passed....I found myself coming unglued. Unglued in a meeting where composure is everything.

I couldn't help but wonder - am I who I've always been?
Doubtful.
Worried.
Wavering self-esteem.
Lazy.
Apathetic.
Spiteful.
Angry.
Hopeless.

Time passes and I find myself thinking....will I ever change? I'm a believer in Christ. I believe that his grace has covered a multitude of me. So why do these things, these weights, keep hanging on?

Why do I continue to be who I've always been?