Positions

Ryan and I had our first session with Annoying Tom, pre-marital counselor at large (he’s counseled over 400 engaged couples you know). It went better than it could have, I suppose. He talked a lot about himself and was visibly shocked when learning our age difference - I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pastor raise an eyebrow that high. I mentioned that we had just bought a house and he shook his head muttering that buying a house is the LAST thing we should be doing right now. He showed us a picture of his wife when she was 15 and he took her to prom. I should also mention, this all occurred while we were all three sitting on a bench in the Bellevue Center Mall. It was odd and sometimes awkward, but overall an ok experience. The surprise of the night didn’t come until the end. We went back to Tom’s office, because he said he had a book for us to read. He handed me the book, and told us that our assignment for the next session was to read the entire book to each other OUT LOUD. And he shouted those words – OUT LOUD. He said it’s very important that we read the entire book OUT LOUD. And yes, he said, there are pictures.
The book is called “A Celebration of Sex”.
Don’t get me wrong, I plan to celebrate. But I was stunned. Every Christian book I’ve seen or heard about and every pastor I’ve talked to or heard preach have all said the same thing (and with emphasis). Woe to you who even utter the word s-e-x before your wedding vows are spoken lest you fall into evil temptation and defile yourselves beyond repair. WOE TO YOU! And here we are, Ryan and I, with a book about sex (celebrating sex, even) that includes pictures and how to’s and all kinds of….stuff. Our wedding is in two months. How am I supposed to read this OUT LOUD without ripping off Ryan’s clothes and practicing Postion 3.B?