Less Is More

Where have I been, you say?
Sick, I say.
How sick, you say?
So sick...I'll give you two examples that will scare you and cause you to ask no further questions.

How Sick I've Been #1: I went to the doctor. But that's not all, I went to the doctor and got a nice fat prescription. Upon leaving the doctor, I was given a brown paper bag full of samples of my nice fat prescription. Thank you, I said. Upon coming home and opening the brown paper bag full of samples, I noticed something else. Charmin Ultra Cleansing Cloths.

How Sick I've Been #2: It's now been 10 days since my last Diet Coke.