Welcome to Office High

I graduated from high school over 14 years ago. As much as I feel like high school was just last week, it also feels like a distant memory. Like I need to squint to remember it clearly. And this is ok with me. Being an adult, while overrun with bills and responsibilities and giant life decisions, is at least free of the need to be popular. The need to achieve status among the elite. I've come to a place in my life where I don't care (all that much) if you like me or not.

Until yesterday.

For a few weeks now I've known some information about a friend that not many other people know. I was asked to keep this information a secret for a few weeks - and I did. It wasn't my news to spread. Yesterday, this information was finally revealed to our mutual friends. Most of these friends shouted YAY! and CONGRATS! since this information is of the good variety. Although one friend received the news by saying, "Jo knew before me? SHE KNEW BEFORE ME!!!"

Later in the afternoon this One Friend and I were discussing the information when she looked at me and said, "I can't believe she didn't tell me first. I can't believe she told YOU before ME." Like somehow it should be obvious that I rank WAY below her...and that I should know that it was obviously ridiculous for me to know information first. Information of any kind. Like I should know my rank in the office friendship queue - and stay there.

I can't explain why...but this stung a bit. Like the popular girls telling me with a smirk that the last seat at their lunch table was taken.