...you are so fat you have Plantar Fasciitis in both feet
...and the only reason you are so fat is because it's been a BAD year so you've eaten a lot of ice cream
...and you're not really upset about that
...but you are upset about the fatness
...so you decided to do something about it
...so you joined Weight Watchers
...and gave yourself a goal of losing Twenty Pounds by Christmas
...and for the first week, every time you thought you would cave and eat those heavenly fries you chanted: Twenty Pounds by Christmas
...Twenty Pounds by Christmas
...and during the first two weeks of your diet, while you were chanting Twenty Pounds by Christmas, you lost ELEVEN POUNDS
...so you changed your mantra to Twenty Pounds by Halloween
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