No....Not A.C. Slater

I'm watching Nashville's news leader Channel 4 News with Dan Miller and Demetria Kaladimos. Suddenly (and uncomfortably) they are talking about Dustin Diamond and his sex tape. You might know Dustin by his former persona, Screech Powers from Saved By the Bell. That's right...Screech has a sex tape. Eww. But then Demetria says something I just might qualify as my favorite news comment ever. With great severity and sincere news-reporter-ish-ness, Demetria looks into the camera and poses this question to all of Middle Tennessee:

"What would Mr. Belding think?"

Indeed.

Good Times

Thinking.....Or Something

There are reasons for post rareness here at The Glamorous Life. Reasons for my silence. My disregard. But I've missed you.

I'm still not sure what exactly it is that I should be saying. Maybe I'll give you a brief run down of the last few weeks. You can then deduce for yourself why I've been so silent.

-Someone close to me lost a second pregnancy - a pregnancy I didn't even know about until it was gone and yet I cried like it was my own.
-Three friends told me they were pregnant.
-One is expecting twins.
-My health problem-whatever-it-is-that-I-still-won't-fully-disclose still looms large. Still overshadows me. Still has an unimaginable grip on me.
-It makes me feel hopeless.
-My beautiful sister-in-law got married in the most beautiful dress with the most beautiful smile you've ever seen.
-I beat Ryan at Dr. Mario.
-Twice.
-I was in Lexington when that plane crashed and all those people died. Some of the family members of the crash victims were in our hotel and we witnessed them hearing the news. It's an experience I don't want to think about ever again.
-9/11
-Minnie Dog got a shocking haircut.
-A close friend lost her mother.
-I kicked myself for not filling out that Do or No Deal application.
-Ryan got a new job making more money with better hours and better treatment.
-I struggled between deciding which season premier to watch: The Biggest Loser or America's Next Top Model.....read into that what you will.
-I had to tell more people that my publisher dumped me. More gasps. More Bless-Your-Hearts.
-I quit physical therapy for my Plantar Fasciitis.
-I lost twelve pounds.
-A large, hairy and sweaty man in my office cornered me by the bathrooms and stood so close to me he almost sweat directly onto my face.

I guess the answer to my weirdness doesn't lie in the list. Truth is, I just haven't had it in me to post anything, even anything ridiculous. Good things happen and bad things happen and at the end of the day there's nothing left for me to say I guess.

I guess.

But this one goes to ELEVEN.

Raise your hand if....

...you are so fat you have Plantar Fasciitis in both feet
...and the only reason you are so fat is because it's been a BAD year so you've eaten a lot of ice cream
...and you're not really upset about that
...but you are upset about the fatness
...so you decided to do something about it
...so you joined Weight Watchers
...and gave yourself a goal of losing Twenty Pounds by Christmas
...and for the first week, every time you thought you would cave and eat those heavenly fries you chanted: Twenty Pounds by Christmas
...Twenty Pounds by Christmas
...and during the first two weeks of your diet, while you were chanting Twenty Pounds by Christmas, you lost ELEVEN POUNDS
...so you changed your mantra to Twenty Pounds by Halloween

Posts: An Explanation

And now...the top three reasons why I haven't written anything lately.

#1 - I
#2 - Simply
#3 - Cannot