Choices

Perspective

Worldview:
-Economic meltdown
-A government so corrupt even Jack Bauer doesn't know what to do
-Olympic athletes hitting the bong
-A California woman gives birth to eight babies to get on Oprah
-Tainted peanut butter
-Ice storms
-6 more weeks of winter


Illingworth Manor View:
-Baby Harry is growing more and more which I feel in his daily kicks and wiggles
-We've paid off over half of our debt
-We both have jobs
-We have fantastic family that we love
-We have each other

Yeah.

Uhhhhh

Can't.
Blog.
No.
Matter.
How.
Hard.
I.
Try.

And you'd think I'd have plenty to talk about seeing as how I'm 20 weeks pregnant and such. Especially since I had all these aspirations of blogging about my pregnancy for posterity and memories and whatever.

But.
No.

Introducing....

Robert Harrison Illingworth!

We had our ultrasound yesterday and it was surreal seeing that little guy squirming and stretching and rolling and hiccuping. He's perfect and precious and should be making an appearance early June. The tech said he's measuring for a due date of June 9th - my 35th birthday.

And no, we couldn't be happier.

If Willie Were A Woman

You're right, I should update with something. Anything. But I've been too busy mourning the death of my old laptop and crying at the price of the new laptop and eating leftovers and playing my new piano and sitting on the couch. I'm busy. But there is one thing I wanted to say.

To all the girls I've judged before, my humble apologies. When friends would tell me things like "pregnancy sucks" or "I hate being pregnant" or "I'm not sure I could go through this again" I would secretly judge them. How could you call a miracle something horrid! Pregnancy is a privilege! Get over yourself!

Oh naive GlamJo. If only I had known. And yes, pregnancy IS a miracle and a blessing and the greatest thing. But it's also constant heartburn. And gas. And psychotic mood swings that swing from hopelessness to rage within seconds. And extreme exhaustion. And tough.

But we find out who it is on Thursday.

Yay!

You May Think It's Too Early But We're Not The First (or the third) In Our Neighborhood

Yesterday was the warmest day in the next little while so Ryan and I decided to get some things done. He climbed the roof while I untangled lights only to discover that half of our icicle roof lights were dead. So we went to Target (twice) and to Lowe's (once) and staked mini-Christmas trees and plugged in candles and fluffed up window wreaths and Ryan climbed the roof again only to discover some of the brand new lights we just bought were also dead and Ryan yelled from the rooftop while I unrolled rope lights and plugged in the snowman and tried to figure out the ten extension cords and which timer does this one go to and by the end of the whole ordeal we were both tired and hungry and irritable and bah humbug.

Just then our little neighbor boy ran outside and screamed at the top of his 3-year-old lungs:

"MOM!!!! LOOK!!!!! It's sooooooooo......BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!"

So, totally worth it.

Some Things To Tell You

#1 - We're having a baby.

#2 - I thought about telling you with a big post full of every detail and tiny moment but the whole thing is so overwhelming I couldn't think of one thing to say. So I posted a photo of the ultrasound and hit publish. It wasn't until later that I noticed the photo had completely taken over the blog. Appropriate since that little nugget has completely taken over my life.

#3 - Being pregnant is everything I was told it would be by countless (COUNTLESS) friends - only worse. And better. And also worse. I was prepared for the crazy fatigue, prepared for the moodiness. I was ready (I thought) for the nauseousness and the sore boobs. I was not, however, prepared for the constant nausea at level 10 that robbed me of my very will to live. No one told me I would have so much saliva in my mouth that anyone within ten feet of me would get a fresh spray, so much saliva that I choke on it. Which causes me to vomit. No one mentioned the horrific Swamp Mouth that absolutley nothing will cure. And most of all, NO ONE told me I would lose all desire for Mexican food. Ya'll, I love me some trashy Mexican. Only not right now, UGH. Even typing the words makes me a little queasy. I have zero control over my body. There is now a tiny little kumquat ordering me to eat every hour but only things that are bland or boring. If I dare waiver from Baby Illingworth's demands, there is hell to pay.

#4 - Something else no one warned me about, the breast exam at my first pre-natal visit. Here's the thing, if your breasts hurt so bad you can barely take a shower, you really don't want your OBGYN smashing and pressing and generaly making you scream in agony. It hurt.

#5 - But that ultrasound...oh the ultrasound. I was worried about having a Rachel Green moment and not being able to see the baby, but the second that image flashed on the screen I knew exactly what I was looking at - my little bean. And that's what it looked like, a kidney bean with a flashlight in the middle flashing at an alarming rate. It was both surreal and soothing. Unreal and so very real I burst into tears. It made all the pregnanacy horrors worth it. My baby. In me. Finally.

#6 - Baby Illingworth is due June 10th, one day after my birthday.

#7 - We're having a baby.

Illingworth Manor +1

Happy Halloween

Minnie says "Happy Halloween Ya'll!"



Ok, really she's saying "I'm going to kill you in your sleep."

Such a kidder!

Hope

Oh October,

You're my favorite month, that's no secret. Over the years we've had some great times together. Remember 1994? Yeah I know, awesome. The point is, you've always come through for me, always provided tons of fun memories and laughs and cool weather and general goodness. You should know, 2008 has been kind of a jerk these past nine months spreading badness at every turn. And I'm talking real badness, not just "crap, my yogurt is expired" badness. But here we are, October, together again. I'm counting on you to turn this ship around, to be the friend you've always been. To spread the love.

Let's do this.